It was a loud club as most clubs are and there were too many people as there always are. And my friend, Addy had disappeared as he always did. I don’t know why I bother to come with him on his expeditions. It always turns out the same way. He drinks a little. I drink a lot. He dances a lot. I dance a little. He dances well. I flail my arms and jump. He dances really well, gets ogled at, hooks up and texts me a “Sorry, bro.” And the bro-code means I can’t be angry with him.
I saw him walking back towards me. Happy. He sat down next to me.
“Be cool,” he said. “Two really hot chicks are going to come join us. Mine’s the one in the red dress.”
I nodded. This had happened before. I was supposed to be the wingman.
And then he waved towards two girls. The red one is gorgeous, as expected. But, the green one is pretty too. A rare occurrence in my experience. Both of them, however, are super drunk.
See, I have a thing. I don’t like drunk girls. They are a liability. Not in the sense that you are thinking of. But a liability to my ego. Is she giggling because they genuinely think I am funny or because she is drunk? Is she talking stupid shit because she is stupid or because she is stupid drunk? Is she making out with me because she is drunk or because she wants to? Drunk girls that I don’t know are a Pandora’s Box of incessant nagging to my ego the day after. So, I try and keep away from them, and don’t indulge them.
“Piya, Anshi, this is Sandy,”Addy says.
“Hi, Piya, Anshi!” I say.
“Hello!” Anshi says and hugs me. Anshi’s the one not in red. Green. Mine. Apparently. They both sit down with us.
“So, what do you do, Anshi?” I asked, trying to entice her into a conversation and divert her attention from Piya for Addy’s benefit. Winging. Like a boss.
“I work in marketing. You?”
“I work my ass off to make rich people richer. I’m not rich. So, I don’t become richer.”
Anshi snorted with laughter and then coughed. I don’t think it was that funny a joke. Like I said, drunk girls. I caught Addy leaning in to whisper something in Piya’s ear, who nodded and then they were off to the dancefloor.
“Would you like to dance also?” I asked her.
“Umm. In a little while. How about we talk for now?”
Anshi smiled and then sipped her drink.
“You know I really like rich people,” she said.
“Really? Why is that?”
“No, wait. I meant poor people. I really like poor people.”
“Ooh ’kay. Why do you like poor people?”
“Because they’re cute,” she said drunkenly. I nodded. This was hopeless. I checked my phone. No messages. I looked back at her and she was glaring at me. I was a little scared.
“You wouldn’t know if a girl was flirting with you if it hit you right in the face. Like a brick!” she fumed and stomped off. I had no idea where that’d come from. I know perfectly well what flirting looks like. She wasn’t flirting. I had no idea what she meant.
I sighed, took another sip of my drink and checked my phone. I still had no messages. Addy was still dancing away with Piya. So, it was time for me to leave. I finished my drink, got up, turned to leave and then nearly shat my pants. A huge ass brick had just flown past my face and crashed into the table behind me. I turned and saw Anshi laughing maniacally surrounded by people staring at her. “Do you know now?” she shouted at me.
“No,” I shrugged and left the club.
I still have no idea what she meant.