A Loving Prick


“What do I do? Well, I give back freedom to mortals like you who’ve lost it. Romantic freedom. I help you mortals break up. I walk up to you and put my hand on you and you get the courage to do what’s right. And no, it’s not creepy. You mortals can’t see me. It’s got little to do with that you wouldn’t want to see me and more to just with how magic works. You are mortal-folk and frankly the dull ones at that. I am faerie-folk. Your eyes just glaze over me even if I am standing two feet from you. My eyes don’t. They linger. They intrude. They devour whenever I see a mortal. It doesn’t take long. Less than a fleeting thought. Unless you’re interesting and chances are you aren’t. In that fleeting thoughtspace, I can see what’s in your heart. I can see who’s in your heart. And I can remove her or him … or it … or them. Heck, if he was wrong for you, I could remove Naricssus from your heart. And trust me, he was wrong for everyone … It’s a good thing too that you mortals are so weak-brained that you can’t see me. If you weren’t weak-brained, I’d be out of a job. Falling in love is the easy part. Falling in love wrongly is easier and you weak-brained mortals do it all the time. Falling out of wrong love — that’s the tricky part. That’s where I come in. I do that for you. You’re welcome. Sometimes it’s hard, but where’s the fun in your job if it’s not challenging from time to time, right?”

I looked up at my brother sitting in front of me. My brother who was on a fake date with me, helping me boost my confidence, up my game, figure out what I was doing wrong — because, frankly, I had no idea, and he had always been quite good at this part of love.

“Really?” asked Cupid looking at me with bemusement. “That’s your answer to ‘what do you do’? Zeus Almighty! We’re never going to be able to find you a date,” he said with a sigh. “Not even if I shot someone!”

Yeah, my brother’s always been a bit of a prick.

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